Fiasco Read online

  …about someone’s infidelity

  …about who the visiting dignitary is

  …about the locked room in B-142

  To get laid …by anyone, anywhere, to dull the pain

  …by that girl/guy you’ve had your eye on

  …by a visitor, fast

  …by an old lover, rekindling an old romance

  …in exchange for something you need

  …by your sweetheart, who has been strangely distant

  ...in McMurdo Station, Antarctica

  Objects...

  Untoward A 55 gallon urine barrel

  A stalker’s notebook

  A secret shrine

  The crashed helicopter on the Ross Island ice road

  A dead seal

  Candid photos of the Deputy Director

  Forbidden A hidden hydroponics project

  A one kilo baggie of marijuana

  A list of people to murder

  A tri-wall cardboard container labeled toxic

  A lost component from the long-abandoned Martin PM-A3 Nuclear Power Plant

  Five kilos of explosives and a detonator

  Transportation A balloon-tired Delta vehicle rigged for passengers

  An LC-130 cargo plane

  A snowmachine

  A fire truck

  A Bell 212 helicopter

  An ancient pair of cross-country skis

  Weapon Butcher knife

  Ice axe

  Signal flare

  Fire axe

  Five liter jug of aviation fuel

  Beretta 9mm pistol

  Information The name of the New Zealander at Scott Base with the pain pills

  A USB drive, a spreadsheet, names and dates

  A used dive computer in a locked toolbox

  An overheard sat-phone call

  The results of a keyboard logger

  Loose talk in the Heavy Shop

  Sentimental A can of potted meat stolen from Scott’s Hut

  A dog-eared black and white photo

  A symbol scratched into the bumper of a Spryte vehicle

  A child’s doll

  A Hawaiian shirt

  A cricket bat

  ...in McMurdo Station, Antarctica

  Replay!

  The Straight Dope

  The replay is a Japanese innovation − a transcript of actual play that’s designed to both entertain and teach you the rules. It’s an extended example of play encompassing a whole session. I’ve edited this one down to the basics, but the intention is the same. Let me know if you enjoy it or find it useful.

  STEVE: Hi Fiasco replay reader, allow us to introduce ourselves before we play. I’m Steve. I brought the game over tonight and I’ve played a few times. I’m no Fiasco expert, though!

  MONA: That is definitely true.

  STEVE: Thanks, Mona, I appreciate the support. Other than games I’m into the usual stuff – delicious toast, Patrick Swayze’s performance in Red Dawn, my son Henry and horror movies.

  MONA: I’m Mona, the token girl, and I’m fairly new to role-playing. My favorite games so far, other than Fiasco of course, are 1001 Nights and Best Friends. I have two sweet dogs and I like making things. I sew my own cosplay outfits and knit and have a blowtorch.

  JOEL: I’m Joel. I’ve been gaming pretty much all my life. Right now I’m running an L5R campaign and playing the second season of a Prime Time Adventures show. I work for the government and that’s about all I can say about that.

  JEFF: Hi, I’m Jeff. Like Joel I’ve been playing games a long time, but only recently got interested in shorter-form games like Fiasco. I’ve got a regular D&D group that’s been playing together for years. I like to cook, and I’m into anime as well.

  MONA: That’s all of us. Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?

  STEVE: Right. From here on out we’re focusing on the game.

  The Setup

  See the rules in the Setup chapter.

  JOEL: Steve, since you’ve played before, can you try to keep things on track and answer any rules questions if they crop up?

  STEVE: Sure thing. I assume we’re playing straight − no rules tweaks.

  They agree and begin the Setup.

  JEFF: We need a Playset, right? Any preferences?

  MONA: Let’s use “A Nice Southern Town.”

  JOEL: Sounds good. Why don’t we set it in … let’s see … Robin Hood, North Carolina.

  JEFF: I like that; it already sounds off-kilter. How many dice do we need?

  STEVE: Four players, four dice each, so 16. Eight black and eight white.

  They gather the dice.

  MONA: Can I roll them?

  STEVE: Sure!

  Mona rolls all sixteen dice:

  1 1 1 1 2 2 2 2 3 3 3 4 5 6 6 6

  JEFF: Who goes first?

  STEVE: Who grew up in the smallest town? Not me.

  JEFF: Not me either. Joel? Mona?

  JOEL: 2,000 people?

  MONA: You win. My home town is tiny, but not that tiny.

  Joel looks at the Playset lists, reviewing Relationships, Locations, Objects and Needs in a small southern town. They are seated Joel, Steve, Mona, Jeff, so Joel is first and Jeff is last in rotation throughout the game.

  JOEL: Hmm, there’s only one five, and I definitely want a crime Relationship so I’ll take that.

  Joel writes “Relationship: Crime” on an index card and places it between himself and Steve – they will have a criminal relationship of some sort. He puts the die on top of the card.

  STEVE: I’m next. How about a work Relationship between Jeff and Mona?

  Steve writes “Relationship: Work” on a new index card, puts it between Jeff and Mona, and places a two die on it.

  MONA: Work, huh? All right. I’ll take a two and make us co-workers. Where and how, we don’t know yet.

  Mona finishes the Relationship card between her and Jeff by adding “Co-workers” and putting her die on it, beside the other two already on it.

  JEFF: The Details will come, Mona. I want some community involvement in our story here. I’ll take a six.

  Jeff adds the information to a card and puts it between Mona and Steve, with the six die on top of it.

  JEFF: Joel, your turn.

  JOEL: Right, nobody added a specific to my criminal Relationship with Steve, so I’m going to grab another six and declare it a drug thing. Meth, I think.

  STEVE: Sounds great. Let’s be a skeezy husband and wife team!

  JOEL: Absolutely. I’ll be ... let’s see ... Stephen Caney, and you can be my child bride.

  STEVE: We’ll see about that – let’s not get too specific yet. My turn, and I’m going for the Relationship between Joel and Jeff. I’ll take a one, family.

  MONA: Nice. Let’s just finish that up. How about a one: in-laws?

  JEFF: I like that. Joel, what if I was the meth cooker’s father-in-law?

  STEVE: That’d make me his daughter!

  JOEL: Awesome. Can your guy be the town doctor?

  JEFF: Definitely. Dr. Benjamin Futrelle...

  Jeff scans the Locations list for random, colorful inspiration. He spies “Hickory Terrace” and decides to throw that in.

  ...who lives in a mansion out by Hickory Terrace! This is getting good – I want a weapon to get between the doctor and his son-in-law.

  Jeff takes a three and selects from the Objects list – he chooses the Weapon Category and authors an index card: “Object: Weapon”. Joel, next in rotation, eyes the Object list and grabs a one from the dice pool.

  JOEL: A shotgun. It’s a short-barreled pump. Of course I’m paranoid, and I keep it around the house. It’s a point of tension between me and my wife’s dad.

  Joel puts his die on the Object card attached to the Dr. Futrelle and Stephen Caney Relationship, and completes it by adding “Shotgun”.

  STEVE: What about Needs, people? I’m going to throw down the three there, as a Need for Joel and I. We need to get rich, obviously. So what do we have s
o far?

  MONA: A creepy pair of shotgun-toting meth addicts, Stephen and Joy Caney, the wife is the black sheep of a high-class family.

  JEFF: Her father’s the town doctor, and Dr. Futrelle wants to make good with his son-in-law Stephen and maybe help him out, but he’s scared of him.

  MONA: OK, time to up the ante. I’m putting down the last six as a Need between my guy, as yet unknown, and Joy the meth princess. Somebody needs to get laid.

  JOEL: I love it.

  JEFF: Maybe your guy is a businessman. I’ll use that last one to add a Location to our Relationship – right downtown on Main Street.

  JOEL: I’ll take another three and make that Royall’s Drug Store.

  Joel places the completed Location card for Royall’s Drug Store next to Jeff and Mona’s Relationship card.

  MONA: Sweet. My guy’s the pharmacist. His name is Pete Branch.

  JEFF: We work together at the regional hospital twice a month, and I visit him at Royall’s. It’s one of those places with a lunch counter, right?

  MONA: Right. And Pete was a classmate of the Caney’s back in high school.

  STEVE: Maybe we dated.

  MONA: Oh! Steve, take that four and put it in our Relationship, making the Need “to get laid by an old lover, to start over.”

  STEVE: Oh hell yes.

  MONA: Branch and Joy Futrelle were engaged before my guy went off to college. My straight-arrow pharmacist never got over her.

  Steve takes the four and adds “by high school sweetheart” to the existing “Need to get laid” card, finishing it.

  JOEL: We still need to know how Mona’s guy Branch is currently connected to the meth princess, and how the Caney’s are going to get rich.

  MONA: I’ll take a two and put it in your Need – you losers need to get rich by robbing a business. I think we all know whose business that is going to be.

  JEFF: Cool. That leaves the last die – a two − to explain how Joy and the pharmacist are in a Relationship – it’s already community, and if you want to go with it as it lays, now you guys are ... civic volunteers. Hmm.

  MONA: That doesn’t really fit.

  STEVE: Who cares? The last die can be any number, so I think they are church volunteers. Joy may have made some bad choices, but she still has connections to the respectable community. I teach youth group! Her and Pete Branch teach youth group at Peace Haven church together.

  MONA: That’s horrible. I love it.

  STEVE: And I’m acting really sweet to you, giving you signals, buttering you up, because we are going to fucking rob your pharmacy.

  MONA: I guess that Need to get laid is sort of one-way, huh?

  STEVE: Indeed, but we’re both going to suffer for it. Everybody happy with this?

  JEFF: It seems like poor old Dr. Futrelle is a little removed from the action.

  JOEL: True, but he’s got strong connections to everybody else. And there’s always that shotgun. Maybe that’s a fun angle − maybe he wants to get it away from Stephen Caney. I bet it won’t be long before he’s in the thick of things.

  JEFF: Good point, Joel.

  STEVE: OK, reroll all the dice into a pile and then let’s play!

  The Setup ends and the players begin Act One.

  Act One

  See the rules in the Act One chapter.

  MONA: Who goes first?

  STEVE: I believe Joel does. Joel?

  JOEL: First scene, huh? No pressure. OK, I want to Establish.

  MONA: Oh good, because we want to Resolve.

  JOEL: I know you do. I want Stephen and Joy to have a scene. I want to convince her to seduce Pete Branch...

  The rules for choosing to Establish a scene are in the Scenes chapter.

  Everyone nods − it’s understood that the group will be deciding whether Stephen Caney manages to talk his wife into seducing Pete.

  ...It’s a Friday night and we’re in my trailer. “Time Cop” is on the TV, and Caney’s on the couch in a bath robe, potato chip crumbs in his beard.

  STEVE: Can I add something?

  JOEL: Sure!

  STEVE: The place smells like ammonia and chicken fat. The shotgun is propped up against an arm of the couch.

  JOEL: That’s a nice touch, Steve.

  Steve and Joel play out the scene in character.

  STEVE: We’re out of everything, Stephen.

  JOEL: Yeah.

  STEVE: We got no food, Stephen.

  JOEL: I heard you. I got some things in the works.

  STEVE: Selling drugs? That’s been really fruitful. You’re being undercut by those Mexican guys.

  JOEL: They’re from El Salvador.

  STEVE: Well they are moving all the meth in this town and eventually they are going to come over here and beat the shit out of you or worse.

  JOEL: Maybe. I got some plans.

  STEVE: What plans? What plans do you have, you nuclear genius?

  JOEL: People around here don’t want street-cooked mess, Joy. They want pharmaceuticals. Stuff in foil packets, so you can see where it came from, who made it.

  STEVE: Terrific. So are you going to get a job with Eli Lilly? Jesus, Stephen, be sensible.

  JOEL: Well, Joy, I am a sensible guy when you come right down to it. I know where all the good shit is.

  STEVE: Sure, me too, Sherlock − Royall’s God-damned pharmacy.

  JOEL: Exactly.

  STEVE: What’s the matter with you? You want to rob the drug store?

  JOEL: Well I do and I don’t. I want to walk in with the keys and just fill up some bags after hours, no fuss and no shouting. I want you to get me the keys to the place. The code to the alarm, too. We’ll do it easy.

  STEVE: Me? How am I supposed to ... oh now wait a minute.

  JOEL: That’s right, you know the guy. You more than know him, Joy.

  Steve, Mona, and Jeff all exchange glances, thinking about whether Stephen Caney is going to get what he wants.

  STEVE: That was a long time ago. Me and Pete...

  JOEL: You guys were the golden couple in high school I hear. Most likely to succeed and all that.

  STEVE: Pete Branch is a decent guy. He teaches Sunday school, for Christ’s sake.

  JOEL: I bet. Look, Joy, I got it all worked out. You start teaching Sunday school up at Shady Grove with him. Make them googly eyes at him. Tell him what a bastard I am.

  STEVE: That’s not a stretch.

  JOEL: Whatever it takes, you get him in your pocket, Joy. You get those keys.

  A positive outcome for Stephen is too good to pass up. Jeff picks up a white die, and Steve and Mona nod in agreement. Jeff puts it in front of Joel and they all know how the scene will end. Steve, playing Joy, has everything he needs to know to finish the scene.

  STEVE: I’m not going to seduce Pete Branch.

  JOEL: Yeah you are. And you’ll probably like it. Hell Joy, you can do the guy if that’s what it takes. I don’t care.

  STEVE: That’s good to know.

  JOEL: You do this and I’ll handle the rest. We clean the place out and it’ll be money, Joy. Big money. Get out of Robin Hood money. We can move to Raleigh, Charlotte, wherever you want. It’ll be the break we need. Get away from your old man.

  STEVE: That sounds pretty good, Stephen.

  JOEL: So you’ll do it?

  STEVE: Pete’s so nice. It’ll destroy him.

  JOEL: So you’ll do it?

  STEVE: Yeah, I’ll do it.

  JOEL: And that’s the scene.

  MONA: That was great. You guys are terrible.

  JOEL: Thanks.

  Since it is Act One, Joel has to give the outcome die away. He sets his white die in front of Jeff. He’s thinking that this is the start of a trend – enough white dice, and maybe he can engineer a happy ending for Dr. Futrelle in the Aftermath, which seems satisfyingly perverse.

  STEVE: I like Joy, she’s so ... mean.

  Steve is up next, and asks to Resolve. Jeff, Mona and Joel set up a scene where Joy is confronted by h
er father, who wants her to leave Stephen. It turns into a shouting match, and Steve decides it’s going to end badly for Joy. He grabs a black die and Jeff, taking the hint, browbeats her into furious silence. At the end of the scene, Steve gives the black die to Joel.

  JOEL: Wow, that was rough, Steve. She really is nasty. Mona, you’re up!

  They begin the third scene.

  MONA: You know, I want to Establish. Not sure where it’s going.

  STEVE: That’s fine.

  MONA: Pete Branch is in Royall’s, nursing a cup of coffee. I’d like Dr. Futrelle to be there.

  JEFF: For sure. Do you have something in mind, Mona?

  MONA: Not really. Let’s say Futrelle looks worried and sad.

  Jeff and Mona play out the scene in character.

  MONA: Hey, Doc, want some company? Mornings are slow around here.

  JEFF: Sure, Pete.

  MONA: How’s business down at the hospital?

  JEFF: Steady. The usual cuts and bruises now that school’s out and the kids are back on the farm.

  MONA: Yeah, it’s all hay fever and corn husker’s lotion here. How’s the family?

  JEFF: Fine, fine.

  MONA: And ... Joy?

  JEFF: Oh, Pete, I wish you two had stayed together. That Stephen Caney − she just married him to spite me. To punish us. He’s no damn good.

  MONA: Aw, he’s not that bad. He loves your daughter. I’ve seen them around town − he really loves her, Doc.

  JEFF: He’s straight from the devil is what he is. He’s a drug-dealing punk and if I had my way he’d be ridden out of town on a rail.

  MONA: Don’t talk that way.

  JEFF: He keeps a loaded shotgun in his living room, Pete!

  MONA: A lot of people do. Look, I know you don’t like him, but you ought to try. It’s been hard for me to accept it, because you know I care for Joy, but it is what it is. We don’t get to change it....

  There’s a contemplative pause, and Mona finally breaks character.

  ...OK, I think this is mostly color. Not seeing a conflict. I just wanted to showcase the relationship between Pete and the Doctor.